Web “stars” turn out for ZoneAlarm viral vid

“I am big,” said Norma Desmond. “It’s the pictures that got small.” (And if you haven’t ever seen Sunset Boulevard, kidz, drop everything and go directly to Netflix.)

Well, Norma’s definitely rolling over in her grave. Today’s “stars” are an amateur dominatrix and her ball-gagged slave, an incompetent Jedi warrior, a peek-a-boo zombie, an unsexy sexpot named Paris and other desperate showoffs who are huge in the ironic world of Internet videos.

And those stars have now come together in an historic viral video, created by D/C, to tout the online security software ZoneAlarm.

It’s not the real stars, of course, but — irony on irony — incredible facsimiles of the people with whom ZoneAlarm’s young, web-surfing target is thoroughly familiar.

And who better to deliver a sermon on Internet safety than Internet royalty?

Because while an old-school Hollywood superstar like the fictional Norma Desmond might have been seen by a few million moviegoers, the “Star Wars Kid” has, by Wikipedia’s estimate, been viewed over one billion times.

That’s star power.