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CORRECTION: Way-cool top 10 riddled with embarrassing errors

I totally blew it with this year’s top 10 (see preceding post). I’m not sure how it happened. Too much angel dust at the Tipmas party? The faceplant in the Porta-Potty on New Year’s Eve? Who knows? But I wanted to sincerely apologize to all of you who count on me to deliver 100% accurate, factual, dependable musical information and who I have so sorely disappointed.

Herewith, corrections to my 2008 top 10:

Barcalounge Express Dream’s Chromium Picolinate album? NOT in fact released in 2008, but in Fall, 2007. Even worse: released in Germany in 2006! So, rather than today’s cutting-edge psycho-schnitzel, it’s little more than warmed-over, zwei-year-old electro-goulash. That’s what you get for trusting Helmut Kiegel. Verdict: album expelled from 2008 top ten; publicist Kiegel officially un-friended on Facebook.

Number II by the Fart Ark — my fave among the honorable mentions — was NOT released by Lawrence Harvey’s Lack of Affect, but by Tintinnabulism in association with Lawrence Harvey’s Lack of Affect. Duh!

Blueish by Tim Hatter. Turns out it was all made up! Hatter did NOT have a nasty, underclass, Northern England childhood or a brand new puppy that was capriciously euthanized by an abusive father who also wouldn’t let Tim wear a bra with his negligee and stockings. A complete fake. Total fraud. Hatter isn’t even Limey! He grew up in Westchester, NY, son of a multijillionaire orthodontist and his 20-year-younger dominatrix wife, who rented Cirque de Soleil for the brat’s fifth birthday and handed him the keys to a Bentley when he turned 16. Which he promptly wrecked. Dues paid? Zero! Verdict: tossed from top ten, with prejudice (and don’t come back, Little Lord Fauntleroy-Hatter!).

Finally, thanks to Jeff Nolan — history buff and axe god for Orlando’s the Ludes — who pointed out that the lyrics to the Gin Blossoms’ “Hey Jealousy” are not etched on the back of the Lincoln Memorial. Ooops!

And I call myself a rock critic.

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